The Two Best April Fool's Pranks

One I did to someone else, the other was done to me...

One year, many years ago, the start of Daylight Savings Time began on April 1st. Before going to bed, my husband and I went through the house changing all the clocks. I waited for him to fall asleep and I pushed them all ahead an extra hour. He woke up that Sunday morning and rushed off to work, without ever realizing what I had done till he arrived at work and went to change the big clock on the wall.

Now what made this one of the best pranks ever is how for 3 days of every year, whenever Daylight Savings Time begins or ends, and on April 1, my husband goes into a time panic, thinking I am going to prank him like that again. He becomes such a wreck and I just laugh. I never have to prank him again. That one time was good enough to affect him for the rest of his life.

Now the one that got me wasn't really a prank at all. When I was back in high school, I received a phone call very early in the morning on April 1, from someone that was trying to tell me that school was canceled because of snow. Even though I was half asleep, I was quite aware of the date, and wished her a Happy April Fool's Day before I hung up. I ended up getting ready for school and going downstairs to leave, opening the front door to a vision of about 2 feet of snow. Yeah, the joke was on me, that phone call was for real.

Free FTC Disclosure Graphics from Louis Gray and Jeannine Schafer

Ever since the FTC announced new disclosure rules for bloggers, which went into effect on December 1st of this year, many have been wondering how do it in an easy to handle manner.

If you are still fretting over exactly how to go about disclosing your relationships to the companies and products you write about and review, and do it with style, you can stop now.

Louis Gray and Jeannine Schafer have come up with a great tongue-in-cheek set of FTC Disclosure graphics that you can use for your blog posts.

A couple of examples:

To see the rest, the best, and download the entire collection (in various sizes), visit Louis Gray's blog.

 

And while you are at it, follow Louis Gray on Friendfeed and Jeannine Schafer on Twitter for lots of interesting news, discussions, and other cool stuff.

Barbie Wants to Code

I thought the idea of branding was taken a bit too far when I saw this, but I think we can take it to an absurd distance and territories completely unknown, by proposing a fun little exercise for your 1337 Photochop skills.

Now that Hello Kitty has her own antivirus (how can you take a product like that seriously?), Barbie is jealous and wants her own programming IDE...and she wants YOU to design it for her.

Your assignment (if you choose to accept it):

• Take a screenshot of your favorite IDE.
• Drag it into the photo editing software of your choice.
• Dress it up Barbie style...all pink, flowery, and quite girly.
• Make it look like something Barbie would be proud to code in.
• Show it off by posting a link to your creation(s) in a comment.

Here is one I quickly did to give you an idea of what I mean and get your creative juices flowing. I am sure you can do much better than this, with a little thought and effort.

Delphi 6 for Barbie:

Bill Gates Cleans Out His Desk and Leaves Behind a Priceless Email

The internet has been cluttered lately with tributes and articles devoted to Bill Gates and his contributions to the world of computing, on the eve of his retirement from Microsoft.

Out of all of these, one in particular stands out...

Back in 2003, Bill Gates tried to download and install Windows Movie Maker, unsuccessfully, and then sent a whopper of an email rant to the proper department heads.

I chuckled and felt a great sense of satisfaction as I read this, because this is a whole different side of Bill that we have never seen. This is not the smiling Bill you see in all the publicity photos. This is not the Bill you have seen in interviews and videos.

This is "Bill the XP user"...one of us. And he was pissed as all hell, at all the crap he had to go through to download & install an application from Microsoft.com, which in the end, he still wasn't able to do.

This email rant is a priceless gem.

It is the email we all wish we could have written, a million and one times over.

Each and every time that we have blamed and cursed out Bill over the years because of some stupid-ass Windows crap that has annoyed or confused the hell out of us, Bill Gates has been annoyed and confused right along with us, and bitching at the people responsible for the bullshit.

Thanks, Bill. You changed our lives. And I hope, even though you are retiring, that you plan to keep on bitching.

What does a 13 year old boy from Texas do with hookers?

He plays Halo with them, of course!

And then grows up to be a politician.

This is one of the most hilarious news articles that I have read in awhile.

"13 Year Old Steals Dad's Credit Card to Buy Hookers"

Chicken Soup

I have this horrible cold right now and it's making me feel pretty miserable...like I have been hit by a truck or something.

I can't get any decent sleep on account of all the coughing. And I have been coughing so much that my back & stomach muscles ache.

I don't feel like doing anything, especially anything that resembles work. So knowing this, my husband decided to be 'nice' to me and find me some work to do.

He went out and bought all the ingredients to make a big pot of homemade chicken soup. He's not going to make it...I am.

The one key ingredient that makes it chicken soup is missing though. He didn't buy any chicken. This was on purpose. He had this brilliant idea that instead of putting chicken in the chicken soup, I should make it with the handful of shrimp I have in the freezer.

Yeah, that's right...in his mind there is no difference between chicken & shrimp and by making it with shrimp, he thinks it's still chicken soup.

Now my stomach muscles hurt even more, from laughing.

Satan for President, 2008?

There is a neat little tool available called Anti-Christ Hunter v6.6.6 that will help you find those people that are in league with Satan.

I decided to put it to good use and provide a service to the voting community by identifying all the U.S. Presidential hopefuls and how they score.

Let's see who is in league with Satan...

This concise list is based on the candidates for ALL parties and independents, not just the major two. (candidate list provided by vote-smart.org)

In alphabetical order:

 

Name	Score	Notes
Laura Davis Aaron	942
Stephen Adams	750	16% in league with Satan
Virginia E. Algar	798
Donald Kenneth Allen	1026
Thomas Wayne Allen	1128
Gene Amondson	756	10% in league with Satan
Yul L. Anderson	960
Jose Miguel Aparicio	1128
Roland G. Aranjo	780
Michael Andrew Arterburn	1398
Blake Ashby	516
Warren Roderick Ashe	1170
George Brent Bailey	1020
Jared Arlen Ball	690	76% in league with Satan
George H. Ballard	690	76% in league with Satan
Jedidiah Elijah Wendell Kennedy Banks	1170
Jon Jay Banks	732	34% in league with Satan
Terry Lee Barkdull	1134
Daniel James Barnett	1038
Bob Barr	348
Michael W. Bay	612	46% in league with Satan
William David Beadles	1002
Carl Durantye Belle	1068
William F. Berg	702	64% in league with Satan
Joseph R. Biden	750	16% in league with Satan
Christina Gerasimos Billings-Elias	2022
Sheila Bilyeu	768
David Michael Bishop	960
Greg Black	396
William Hobert Blakley	1290
Michael R. Bloomberg	948
John Douglas Blyth	1158
Matthew Jay Borman	1134
Jacques Yves Boulerice	1422
John Taylor Bowles	1284
J. Boydston	744	22% in league with Satan
Robert Edwin Boyer	1188
Ryan Joseph Brady	1086
Dewey R. Broughman	1074
Elaine Brown	708	58% in league with Satan
Jeffrey Earl Brown	1098
Edward Allan Buck	792
William Jason Burns	1272
Emperor Caesar	822
John Lee Campbell	798
Dan Byron Canfield	882
Raymond Joseph Caplette	1470
Myrtle Charlotte Carlyle	1626
Jerry Leon Carroll	1206
Anthony Lungo Carter	1386
James Harlin Carter	1050
Willie Felix Carter	1146
Patrick Cazneau	894
Janice Marie Chase	744	22% in league with Satan
Jeanne Chebib	469
Liza Dawn Cherricks	1104
Todd Marvin Clayton	1260
Hillary Rodham Clinton	1386
Eamon Patrick Clune	1086
Stephen Colbert	972
James Cooper	720	46% in league with Satan
Hugh Cort	600	34% in league with Satan
Michael James Cortney	1194
John H. Cox	582	16% in league with Satan
Eric Leland Creviston	1248
Randolph Wilson Crow	1434
Claire Elisabeth Fields Cruise	1554
Orion Karl Daley	960
HRM Caesar St Augustine De Buonaparte	2184
Jack L Dietz	606	40% in league with Satan
Christopher J. Dodd	1056
Susan Gail Ducey	966
Michael Christopher Dutcher	1614
Earnest Lee Easton	1068
John Reid Edwards	942
Max Englerius	888
Philip Epstein	948
Lou-Gary Espinosa	1182
Nickolas Bevan Farmer	1134
Clarita Fazzari	906
Lowell Jackson Fellure	1386
H Neal Fendig	510
Bennie Lee Ferguson	1056
Richard Earl Fleharty	1152
Michael Keith Forrester	1368
Robert Leonard Forthan	1374
Heather Fox	660	94% in league with Satan
Dory Frank	672	94% in league with Satan
Elizabeth Mason Frothingham	1614
David Ernst Furniss	1332
Ida Cecilia Garza	654	88% in league with Satan
Anne Hart Geisler	936
Daniel A. Gilbert	714	52% in league with Satan
Donald Robert Gillen	1122
Rudolph W. Giuliani	1194
Wrendo Johnson P. Godwin	1572
Albert Gore	618	52% in league with Satan
Mark Blair Graham	798
Peter Samuel Grasso	1284
Maurice Robert Gravel	1278
Raymond Ferrill Green	1314
Jon A. Greenspon	918
Jackson Kirk Grimes	1158
William Long Hale	918
Albert Hamburg	768
Dennis M Hanaghan	792
Gerald Lamar Hankins	1008
Curtis Hayward	1020
John Robert Henry	1170
Henry Hewes	780
Samuel B. Hoff	648	82% in league with Satan
Joe Honeychurch	948
Albert B. Howard	774
Mildred T. Howard	924
Michael D. Huckabee	666	ANTI-CHRIST ALERT! They are in league with Satan!
William Charles Hughes	1278
Darrel Reece Hunter	1080
Duncan L. Hunter	930
Alexander Michael Huton	1278
Daniel J. Imperato	912
William Michael Ingram	1152
Robert Garrison Jackson	1512
Michael Paul Jingozian	1236
Jerry Roland Johnson	1410
Stanton T. Jolley	1212
Arnold Matthew Jones	1302
Robert Coleman Jorgensen	1488
Keith Russell Judd	1188
Timothy Charles Kalemkarian	1632
John Joseph Kennedy	1188
Alan L. Keyes	630	64% in league with Satan
Daniel Melzine Kingery	1308
Mark Irwin Klein	1002
David Allen Koch	726	40% in league with Satan
William Ronald Koenig	1224
Philip A. Kok	648	82% in league with Satan
Yaphet Kotto	936
Karl Everett Krueger	1332
Steve W. Kubby	930
Dennis J. Kucinich	918
Karen Kwiatkowski	1206
Dal Anthony LaMagna	978
Christopher Lafontaine	1416
God Johan Josephe Lally	1284
Jared Benjamin Lee	768
Kip Lee	348
Monroe Lee	612	46% in league with Satan
Joseph Felix Leonaitis	1398
Alden Link	492
Elvena E. Lloyd-Duffie	1098
Bradley K. Lord-Leutwyler	1608
Frank Lynch	672	94% in league with Satan
Steven Douglas Mabey	1260
Stephen D. Macmillan	1014
Yehanna Joan/Mary Malone	1350
Greg Martin	672	94% in league with Satan
Mike Benjamin Martisko	1272
Joseph Martyniuk	1230
John Christopher Mason	1488
John Sidney McCain	996
James Hatton McCall	1020
Laura Jane McCumber	966
Frank Edward McEnulty	1308
Raymond Louis McKinney	1560
Orleans Victor Mcfoy	1398
Megally Megally	900
Lee L. Mercer	576	10% in league with Satan
Kent Philip Mesplay	1266
Prince Michael	696	70% in league with Satan
Joseph C. Miechowicz	1140
Hubert Billy Miles	1152
Robert W. Milnes	1038
Steven Edward Mirabella	1278
James Creighton Mitchell	1374
Sal Mohamed	546
Omar Jones Monahan	1056
Brian Joseph Moran	1068
Robert Edward Moreau	1236
Howard Louis Moxham	1314
Abdul (Kareem) Muhammad	1002
Jesus Bilal Islam Allah Muhammed	1656
Grover Cleveland Mullins	1578
Ralph Nader	582	16% in league with Satan
George C. Nelson	834
Sandra Queen Noble	1002
Barack Hussein Obama	978
Lawrence Anthony Obern	1392
Frederick Eugene Ogin	1086
Glenda Gail Parker	846
George E. Pataki	720	46% in league with Satan
Ronald Ernest Paul	1170
Jeffrey Charles Petkevicius	1686
George David Joseph Phillies	1560
Matthew D. Pinnavaia	1086
Deshon Porter	942
Michel Anissa Powell	1176
James John Prattas	1140
Madison Augustine Primus	1728
Rajesh Srinivasa Raghavan	1470
Charles G. Railey	858
William Nathaniel Raven	1338
Larry Keith Reed	954
Bill Richardson	864
Ralph Marshall Robinson	1470
Willard Mitt Romney	1386
Paul Russell Rosenberger	1692
Gary Rostad	768
Kamal Karna R Reverend Roy	1500
Gary W. Ruff	750	16% in league with Satan
Mary J. Ruwart	1008
Cameron Sadovsky	1110
Launeil Neil Sanders	1164
Marshall Samuel Sanders	1410
Ole' Savior	696	70% in league with Satan
John W. Sawyer	966
Barbara Ann Scaff	642	76% in league with Satan
Joseph Charles Schriner	1398
Larry Joseph Schuetter	1596
Jonathon Sharkey	1104
Scott J. Sheldon	984
Jack E. Shepard	606	40% in league with Satan
Freddy Irwin Sitnick	1320
Christine Smith	1044
Michael Charles Smith	1116
Rhett R. Smith	948
Richard Michael Smith	1086
Keith Robert Sprankle	1362
Douglas Stanhope	1062
Johns Wallace Stevenson	1536
Michael Sugerman	894
Vermin Love Supreme	1392
Kat Swift	654	88% in league with Satan
Charles Joseph Leo Symonds	1680
Edward Anthony Szynalski	1728
Tom Gerald Tancredo	1050
Nanci Jean Taylor	972
Fred Dalton Thompson	1314
Michael Tienken	774
Linda Tompkins-Reagan	1218
Bruce Calvin Trask	1074
Corrogan R. Vaughn	1092
Charles Gordon Vick	1104
Da Vid	240
Hugh Wallace	606	40% in league with Satan
Mark R. Warner	840
Lanakila Washington	1146
James Louis Dezort Watchman	1770
Thomas Wells	882
Ruth Bryant White	1272
Virgil L. R. Wiles	1050
Jomo K. Manual Williams	1344
Kelcey Brian Wilson	1182
Robert B. Winn	840
Marc Wolin	648	82% in league with Satan
James Wellington Wright	1584
Vernon Edgar Wuensche	1326
Eugene Robert Zarwell	1392
Frank Zilaitis	930

 

So there you have it folks. Now you know who the Anti-Christ is, what he's up to, and who is working with him. And yes, he is a Republican.

No time to thank me for all my hard work hunting him & his minions down...you have work to do!

Go get your own copy of Anti-Christ Hunter v6.6.6 and find out which of your co-workers, family & friends are in league with Satan, before it's too late!!

And tell all your God fearing friends about it! Spread the word!

Your soul depends on it.

It's a Big Ass Table

SarcasticGamer.com presents a twisted take on one of Microsoft's latest and greatest announcements.

 

Crazy lady trained her cat to eat with a fork

If it won't play, you can see it here:
http://www.vidmax.com/index.php/videos/view/1706

Tip of the Day

Replace the burned out bulb in your fridge as soon as possible...or at least turn on the kitchen light when you go in there...otherwise you may end up putting orange juice in your tea instead of milk.

Google Amusements

Every once in awhile, Google will provide me with something really stupid that amuses me.

My latest 2 amusements were links pointing at my own sites.

Here is an interesting Google result:

And then there is this little amusement from Gmail that just arrived in my inbox:

Yes, that really is the title of that page. I just think it's funny to see that text in link form, all by itself, with no other description. I mean, really...don't you just want to click a link in an email that looks just like that one?

Kind of reminds me of those 'don't click here' links that ends up crashing your browser when you can't resist temptation and click it. (no, there isn't anything nasty on that site...just a few time wasting amusements)

Scripting in Perl Using Voice Recognition in Vista

This video is hilarious...especially when he loses his temper.

Stick Magnetic Ribbons On Your SUV

This one is for you, Cailin!
I thought of you and your night time magnet stealing adventures when I saw this one.

And I am still trying to think of who the guy singing it reminds me of. It has to be someone that we all know because Steph says he reminds her of someone too...and she can't figure it out either!

Spiders on Drugs

Generations of Packrats

My online friends think I make this shit up about being the ultimate packrat...and it being genetic, or they think I exaggerate a bit.

I offer this mother/daughter conversation as proof:

April = me
Steph = my 20 yr old daughter

I think the only reason why she scored higher than me is because I saved all her baby clothes and nobody saved mine for me, and she probably selected the answer about the broken Atari, even though our 2 Atari's are NOT broken.

---

Steph (3:42:34 AM): I scored higher than 98% of anyone else who took this one particular quiz... ranking me at "Ultimate Pack Rat"
Steph (3:42:41 AM): guess what it was a quiz of
April (3:42:56 AM): link me!
Steph (3:43:08 AM): http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=8195145313689353295
Steph (3:43:40 AM): tell me your percentage at the top, if you get Ultimate Pack Rat too
April (3:50:39 AM): i got the same as you
April (3:50:50 AM): could have told ya as much though
Steph (3:50:51 AM): what was your percentage?
April (3:50:52 AM): lol
April (3:50:58 AM): from the bottom?
Steph (3:51:01 AM): nope
Steph (3:51:03 AM): the top
Steph (3:51:13 AM): under where it said Ultimate Pack Rat
April (3:51:15 AM): 85%
Steph (3:51:20 AM): HaHA!
Steph (3:51:22 AM): I beat ya
Steph (3:51:25 AM): ...by 5%
Steph (3:51:26 AM): lol
April (3:51:34 AM): remember something...the atari still works
Steph (3:51:40 AM): yah, I know
Steph (3:51:59 AM): but if it didn't, I would still freak if you tried to get rid of it
April (3:52:20 AM): now why would i do that?
Steph (3:52:23 AM): lol
April (3:52:31 AM): i still have all the old broken vcr's
Steph (3:52:43 AM): "Collected cat hair... yanno, to make a pillow"
Steph (3:52:50 AM): I loved that question
April (3:52:59 AM): i actually was gonna do that
Steph (3:53:03 AM): I know!
Steph (3:53:04 AM): lol
April (3:53:08 AM): and go into business making dog toys
Steph (3:53:20 AM): We're insane, aren't we?
April (3:53:26 AM): yup
Steph (3:53:38 AM): No wonder there's so much CRAP laying around here
April (3:53:51 AM): lol
April (3:54:02 AM): it runs in the family
Steph (3:54:04 AM): yesh
Steph (3:54:19 AM): Pack rat-ness is genetic, mayhaps
April (3:54:30 AM): aunt inez and her civil war artifacts
Steph (3:54:35 AM): hehe
April (3:54:43 AM): and buckets of arrowheads
Steph (3:55:00 AM): and your grandmother and her newspapers
April (3:55:02 AM): my grandmother and the 'newspaper room'
April (3:55:06 AM): lol
Steph (3:55:17 AM): Grandpa's junkroom
April (3:55:22 AM): lol
Steph (3:55:27 AM): and... OUR WHOLE APARTMENT
April (3:55:32 AM): lol
Steph (3:55:33 AM): we don't have just one room
Steph (3:55:37 AM): we have ALL of them
April (3:55:55 AM): and the basement...it might be starting to get out of hand down there too
Steph (3:56:04 AM): Eep?
Steph (3:56:25 AM): At least it's organized and neat-ish down there
April (3:56:31 AM): yeah
Steph (3:56:35 AM): That's storage
Steph (3:56:39 AM): not pack-ratting
April (3:56:44 AM): we need to get rid of the encyclopedias
Steph (3:56:49 AM): I think there might be a difference
Steph (3:57:04 AM): Yeah, wikipedia > Britannica
April (3:57:33 AM): that was such a waste of money
Steph (3:57:42 AM): yeah >.>;
April (3:57:54 AM): but there was no internet when we bought it
Steph (3:57:58 AM): true
Steph (3:58:08 AM): then again, I don't think we ever used it much anyhow
Steph (3:58:09 AM): OH!
Steph (3:58:16 AM): the kids version was cool, though
April (3:58:23 AM): we will keep that
Steph (3:58:26 AM): yesh
April (3:58:27 AM): forever
Steph (3:58:35 AM): those were my story books as a kid, lol
April (3:58:41 AM): i know
Steph (3:58:52 AM): wow... no wonder I'm not a moron
Steph (3:59:05 AM): encyclopedia = bedtime stories!
Steph (3:59:05 AM): lol
April (3:59:16 AM): do people think of us as weird when you tell them "my mom read me encyclopedias as bed time stories"?
Steph (3:59:35 AM): No one knows about that, lol
April (3:59:42 AM): yes they do
April (3:59:49 AM): i have told some people
Steph (3:59:53 AM): no one I have told
Steph (4:00:00 AM): Though, I wanna tell Tom
April (4:00:05 AM): lol
Steph (4:00:05 AM): he'll appreciate it
Steph (4:00:09 AM): and might think it's hot
Steph (4:00:11 AM): ^_^;
April (4:00:16 AM): lol
April (4:12:07 AM): speaking of packratting...
Steph (4:12:12 AM): hmm?
April (4:12:23 AM): i saved the packratting convo
Steph (4:12:28 AM): lol
April (4:12:32 AM): we are digital packrats as well
Steph (4:12:36 AM): YESH!
Steph (4:12:41 AM): verily

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

It's not difficult to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


--------------------------------------

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

Microsoft's EULA

I was installing the .Net 2.0 framework on a WinME PC recently.

I am wondering if I should have agreed to this EULA:

 

^{Humorous Note: Windows Live Writer's spellcheck doesn't know what WinME is.}

Mario Live!

Spellcheck

On my last post, I was using the program wBloggar, and ran the spellcheck before posting.

Now, I really like wBloggar... I like it a lot. But the spellcheck feature definitely leaves something to be desired.

It found error with the word 'voicemail' and suggested this replacement:

Now let's use that correction in a sentence, shall we?

"As soon as I got home I took off my coat and checked my vaginal messages."

Oh, yes...that's a great replacement! Don't you agree?

Everyone should replace all instances of the word voicemail with vaginal from now on.

The world will be a better place if you do. ;-)

From the desk of Elizabeth Dole

Today I decided to share some of my snail mail with you. Why? Because I received something today that was better than anything currently in my email inbox.

This is hilarious. The funniest thing I have read in years!

And that's right, it came from Elizabeth Dole...THE Elizabeth Dole, one & only wife of Bob Dole.

This was so funny it made me not mind the $62/per month rent increase notice I got today....almost.

Click the thumbnails and prepare to laugh your ass off.