Cranial Soup

The Two Best April Fool's Pranks

2011-04-01T09:58:00.001-04:00

One I did to someone else, the other was done to me...

One year, many years ago, the start of Daylight Savings Time began on April 1st. Before going to bed, my husband and I went through the house changing all the clocks. I waited for him to fall asleep and I pushed them all ahead an extra hour. He woke up that Sunday morning and rushed off to work, without ever realizing what I had done till he arrived at work and went to change the big clock on the wall.

Now what made this one of the best pranks ever is how for 3 days of every year, whenever Daylight Savings Time begins or ends, and on April 1, my husband goes into a time panic, thinking I am going to prank him like that again. He becomes such a wreck and I just laugh. I never have to prank him again. That one time was good enough to affect him for the rest of his life.

Now the one that got me wasn't really a prank at all. When I was back in high school, I received a phone call very early in the morning on April 1, from someone that was trying to tell me that school was canceled because of snow. Even though I was half asleep, I was quite aware of the date, and wished her a Happy April Fool's Day before I hung up. I ended up getting ready for school and going downstairs to leave, opening the front door to a vision of about 2 feet of snow. Yeah, the joke was on me, that phone call was for real.

If I could read someone's mind for just one day

2008-05-05T22:50:00.003-04:00

I have an online friend that I am crazy about. I don't know if it's love. I am not sure I even know what love is, any more, or if I still believe in love. But there is some kind of feelings there, I can't deny that, even if I can't define what is.

I know plenty about him, without really knowing anything at all. It all seems so superficial, and kind of empty, and leaves me craving something deeper. He intrigues me.

I don't know what he thinks and feels about me, not really. I know he cares. He has shown that much and made it quite obvious in ways that have touched me very deeply. But his genuine thoughts about me that he doesn't express...and other thoughts about other things. What makes him tick?

I would just want to know what is going on in his head...for just one day.

How about you? Is there someone that you would want to be able to read their mind, for just one day?

How I feel right now

2008-03-14T16:56:00.004-04:00

The good pc has been down for about 10 days and it doesn't look like it will be coming back. I don't have the money or the skills or the luck needed to fix it, nor can I afford to replace it.

It feels just like 2003 all over again, only this time I won't allow myself to be stuck using an old P1 with WinME for 2-3 years, watching the world pass me by, feeling hopeless, powerless, pathetic...while people make jokes and laugh at me.

No, this time I will shut it down and walk away.

I can't go through that again. I just can't.

I am sorry.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go mourn the death of one of my best friends, the loss of much that I considered precious, and the destruction of all my hopes, plans, & dreams.

Chicken Soup

2007-12-13T20:49:00.002-05:00

I have this horrible cold right now and it's making me feel pretty miserable...like I have been hit by a truck or something.

I can't get any decent sleep on account of all the coughing. And I have been coughing so much that my back & stomach muscles ache.

I don't feel like doing anything, especially anything that resembles work. So knowing this, my husband decided to be 'nice' to me and find me some work to do.

He went out and bought all the ingredients to make a big pot of homemade chicken soup. He's not going to make it...I am.

The one key ingredient that makes it chicken soup is missing though. He didn't buy any chicken. This was on purpose. He had this brilliant idea that instead of putting chicken in the chicken soup, I should make it with the handful of shrimp I have in the freezer.

Yeah, that's right...in his mind there is no difference between chicken & shrimp and by making it with shrimp, he thinks it's still chicken soup.

Now my stomach muscles hurt even more, from laughing.

Blast from the Past

2007-09-07T21:41:00.002-04:00

I have been looking for a bunch of old photos that have been lost in my house for about 2 years. I have looked everywhere for them, hoping they weren't lost forever. Most of these were taken when I was a teen.

My husband was the one who finally found them, under the bed with his baseball cards, of all places.

I decided to scan and share a few with you today.

This is me (age 20), holding my daughter when she was about a month old.

Me (age 16) and LuLu

Me, age 16.

Lil, me (age 16), and Tom.

This is me (age 16) and Dianne, on Tom's motorcycle, in Tom's garage. We were supposed to be doing the thumbs like the Fonz, but just as the picture was being taken, Tom moved the back of the bike and scared the crap out of both of us.

In my room, sitting on my bed.

from left to right: Liz, LuLu, and Dianne.

Me in back. (age 16)

Standing in front of my house in all the snow.

Age 19

Another from same day/location.

The illusion of having photographed 'falling snow' is a bit odd, since there was no snow actually falling. Some weird photography mishap that I had no idea about till the photos were developed.

My daughter (age 4) and me (age 24).

This was taken at Great Adventure.

We are sitting in King Kong's hand.

Sexy witch

Halloween, at Mary's house.

Age 16

My guess would be either age 18 or 19.

I am really not sure, but judging from the length of my hair, it was probably 19.

Christmas, at Debbie's house.

Age 18

Debbie always seemed to give me purses for Christmas, for some reason.

My 19th birthday, with cake on my nose.

Halloween

Last minute throw together costume.

Age 18

Me (age 18) and my husband (age 28).

New Year's at Bob & Linda's house.

Age 18

I looked really awful...

just finished cooking my first big Thanksgiving dinner.

The cake I baked for my daughter's 3rd birthday.

My daughter

Age 2

Fourth of July

Christmas at Mary's house.

Age 18

Me, at Liz's house.

Age 15

I just woke up.

The secret to a clean house may be in my tea mug

2007-06-23T17:09:00.001-04:00

If I have five to six cups of tea every day, and it takes four minutes in the microwave to heat the water in my cup, and if I spend that time while it's heating cleaning my house, then I will be spending twenty to twenty-four minutes cleaning, every day.

How much can I accomplish in that amount of time?

I am about to find out.

I figure working for my tea isn't a bad idea and I'll be accomplishing more housework than I normally would be doing.

Four minutes here & there isn't much.

Not enough time to procrastinate about it.

Not enough time to think up reasons why I shouldn't do it.

Not enough time to make excuses.

Not enough time to miss out on doing something else I'd rather be doing at that moment.

Not enough time for me to get obsessive about it.

Yes, this is the real reason why I hate cleaning. When I clean, the picky perfectionist in me comes out and takes over and everything has to be perfectly organized and sterile. I spend way more time on each thing than I should. I can't control it or stop it once it starts.

This is a source of anxiety I'd rather not go through, so I avoid the activity altogether. This is also why the mess bothers me so much. I see it, think about fixing it, think about how long it will take (because I will end up obsessing over it), and that causes anxiety too. I fear losing control...and I run from the task. It's a kind of damned if I do, damned if I don't feeling. I can't find a happy medium where things are normal. You probably can't even begin to understand how much this bothers me and stresses me out.

But it's only four minutes.

I think I can handle that. How much trouble can I get in, in four minutes?

Chinese Chicken Sculptures

2007-06-08T13:23:00.001-04:00

I had this really weird dream...

I dreamed I was in Tampa, at a Chinese restaurant. I was supposed to be ordering food for my mother, which would be delivered later on, then I was supposed to go to my aunt's house a few blocks away.

Something went wrong and it got weird...

The lady in the restaurant told me that the last time my mother called for food and had it delivered, somebody stiffed them for $2.50. So she wanted me to pay for it, and for my mother's current order, and to tell her that from now on she has to come and pick up the food herself.

I look in my wallet and all I have is $25...which my mother gave me for something else...and I wasn't supposed to spend it. I handed the lady $5, hoping that later when I saw my mother that she wasn't going to have a fit about it.

While they were cooking my mother's food, the Chinese lady gave me some sort of drink for free...something that tasted weird and not so good.

There was this guy that worked there that was bored and had nothing to do. Everybody else was busy running around cooking things except him. My daughter starts flirting with him. He tells her that he wants to cook something and not just sit around being bored...asks her if she wants something to eat....for free. Then as she is looking at the menu and making suggestions for some common things, he gets a bit upset and takes the menu away from her. He doesn't want to make something common, he wants to make something special! (he was trying to impress her)

So he's looking at the menu trying to find something, then tosses it and grabs some Chinese cookbook and starts flipping pages. Then he gets a big smile and very excited and runs to the back with the book.

The Chinese lady tells my daughter, in Engrish, that she is really going to like what he's making, because she can see what he's doing in the back and we can't.

Then she asks me why I am not finishing my drink. I am honest with her about not liking it too much. She suggests that maybe I need prune juice in it...then comments how Hollow doesn't need any prune juice, because 'he go everyday, no problem'. (omg! It turns out that Hollow is living with the people in the Chinese restaurant in Tampa!)

Then the guy that is making food for my daughter comes to the front with a giant artistic chicken sculpture dipped in wax, sticking up out of something that looks like a fancy metal baby buggy with all kinds of Asian designs all over it, and he pushes it along this track that leads to an oven. It was a genuine work of art. Then he explains to my daughter that it has to go in the oven so the wax can be burned off, leaving just the chicken.

Then my mother shows up and wants to know why we were still at the Chinese restaurant and not at my aunt's house yet.

I explain the food problem to her and she swears the delivery guy is a liar. She sent someone downstairs with the money, and he would never pocket the money for himself. She gets mad at me for telling her all of this. I told her I had to pay for the food. She hands me $2.50, with an attitude. When I told her I had to pay $5 because I also had to pay what they got stiffed, she gets really nasty, but finally gives me another $2.50.

Then she hands me some really cheap cigarettes and I comment that I don't smoke those, that I prefer Djarums. She asks who the hell got me into those. I told her that I thought it was her that did. She says in a very nasty tone of voice that it couldn't have been, because she wouldn't ever buy something expensive like that for me.

Then I thought about it really hard.....it was Plastic! He was the one that got me into them. (not in real life though, that was Cailin's fault)

...and then I woke up.

So...I dreamed about my daughter flirting with a Chinese guy, 2 online friends (one that really lives in Tampa), my mother being a bitch, and a work of edible art that's worthy of photographing. It's all not so weird and really quite normal, when you think about it.

Tip of the Day

2007-05-23T06:39:00.001-04:00

Replace the burned out bulb in your fridge as soon as possible...or at least turn on the kitchen light when you go in there...otherwise you may end up putting orange juice in your tea instead of milk.

Starving people with cases of clam chowder

2007-01-17T02:38:00.001-05:00

My husband told me a story tonight of this poor starving guy that can't afford to buy himself food.

My husband has been taking food to this guy about every other day, for awhile...pizza, sandwiches, dinners, etc...from the restaurant he works in.

Tonight my husband brings him a pizza and the guy hands him a case of New England style clam chowder (the white kind)...tells my husband to take it home. Then he says he has tons more cases upstairs.

Some woman gave them to him...cases and cases of the stuff, all the same flavor, and he is getting sick of the stuff. So now he's trading the clam chowder for other food, and rewarding those that have been kind to him, like my husband, with a case each.

So now I have this case of clam chowder sitting in my kitchen. There is only one problem with it...

I gave up eating that kind of stuff because of the fat content in it is too high, and I am the only one in the family that likes the stuff. My daughter prefers the Manhattan style (the red kind).

Oh well...guess I know what my next donation to the community food pantry will be now.

My husband also brought me home a pen with a radio in it. He let someone pay for 2 slices of pizza by swapping the pizza for the pen. It's brand new, still in its package, with earphones, batteries, and all. It doesn't just look like a pen with a radio in it, it really writes.

It's kind of cool, but not something I would use. I'll toss that in the gift drawer for when one of us needs to give someone a gift and can't afford one. I don't know who would want it though, since most people we know can afford and already own ipods.

Humorous Note: Windows Live Writer's spell check dictionary does not contain "ipod".

The perfect gift

2006-12-24T19:45:00.000-05:00

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.”
--Unknown

The perfect gift to give is always the perfect gift for the person you are giving it to. It is a gift that matches the personality and/or the tastes of that person. If you see something that reminds you of someone you know, you are supposed to buy it for them...it commands you to. When you care about someone, you think of them while you are apart and it is easy to shop for them. Things just jump out at you and scream their name.

This is why they say it's not the gift, but the thought that counts.

When I am out shopping, I often see little things that remind me of people I care about.

One online friend in particular...I see things that reminds me of him quite often, but it would be quite expensive to ship to him the things I see, so I don't buy them. It wouldn't make any sense to buy them and not be able to send them to him, so that he could enjoy them.

I didn't have much money for Giftmas shopping this year. I only bought one gift this year...for him. I was browsing around online and saw something that screamed his name in so many ways...I had to buy it. I had no choice. (everyone else on my list received things that didn't cost me any money)

Unfortunately, ebay didn't feel the same about it and wouldn't allow me to buy it and have it shipped to him. I had to send him the link & the money and have him order it. It kind of took a little of the fun out of it. But he liked it and it made him happy.

If there is one thing I love, it's surprises. But every year I don't get very many. Almost every gift I get is something I already know about, expect, and in most cases it is one I have had to pick out myself. I don't understand why people can't shop for me. Does nothing remind them of me? Nothing at all?

I am not saying I don't appreciate the gifts I get, because I do...very much...it's just that I really love to be surprised too. It's not as much fun to tear into the wrapping paper on Giftmas Day, when you know what is in the box and in most cases even wrapped it yourself. It takes most of the fun out of it.

At least someone got it right this year and surprised the hell out of me in the most wonderful way.

A few days ago I received a package in the mail from my online friend that I mentioned earlier, addressed to my daughter.

Now I was expecting this package, and even asked him to address it to my daughter, since she loves surprises as much as I do, and he agreed to do this since it was something for her. But when the box arrived it was much heavier than I expected. There was obviously more in it than the 2 books that we had discussed.

Since it was supposed to be a Giftmas gift, we would both have to wait to see what he had sent.

It is a tradition in my home that we all open one gift each, on Giftmas Eve. My daughter decided it would be the package from my online friend that would be the one. The suspense was killing her. (And it was killing me too.)

So what was in the box?

4 books...the 2 sushi cookbooks, for my daughter, that I was expecting...and 2 more for me.

A book of Farside comics...and a marvelous vintage cat book from the 70's, full of all kinds of stuff about cats...history, legends, poetry, art, information.

It reminded me of one I had bought for myself when I was a teenager. One of many thing I lost during the years when I was being shuffled from place to place while I was a victim of the NJ foster care system.

He probably thought it was something I would like, but I don't think he knew exactly how much I would like it.

But that wasn't all that was in the box...

Along with the 2 sushi books for my daughter, he included a starter kit of supplies she would need for making sushi...sushi rice, soy sauce, wasabi, mats, chopsticks, ginger, etc.

Each item my daughter removed from the box made her happier & happier...the most excited I have seen her in awhile. She was downright giddy.

What made her so happy was how thoughtful the gift was. That someone online that she has never spoken to and doesn't even know her, except through me, gave her a gift that was perfect for her...and it was something she loves. Something her own real life friends wouldn't have bothered to do. They aren't that thoughtful. She now wants to trade her real life friends for my online ones.

I think of all the gifts I have received this year, that box was the best gift of all.

It was a box of thoughtfulness that gave more than just the objects that were in it. It made my daughter smile...it made her happy...and that in turn made me happy....very happy.

My friend has touched my heart through my daughter's smile.

For the first time in a long time, the tears I cry are tears of joy. And yes, they really are tears, I am not exaggerating for the sake of being dramatic or something. I am literally weeping.

The words I write here can not even come close to explaining how I feel or why.

This is a Giftmas I will never forget.

Thank you, my friend.

Generations of Packrats

2006-11-24T04:40:00.001-05:00

My online friends think I make this shit up about being the ultimate packrat...and it being genetic, or they think I exaggerate a bit.

I offer this mother/daughter conversation as proof:

April = me
Steph = my 20 yr old daughter

I think the only reason why she scored higher than me is because I saved all her baby clothes and nobody saved mine for me, and she probably selected the answer about the broken Atari, even though our 2 Atari's are NOT broken.

Steph (3:42:34 AM): I scored higher than 98% of anyone else who took this one particular quiz... ranking me at "Ultimate Pack Rat"
Steph (3:42:41 AM): guess what it was a quiz of
April (3:42:56 AM): link me!
Steph (3:43:08 AM): http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=8195145313689353295
Steph (3:43:40 AM): tell me your percentage at the top, if you get Ultimate Pack Rat too
April (3:50:39 AM): i got the same as you
April (3:50:50 AM): could have told ya as much though
Steph (3:50:51 AM): what was your percentage?
April (3:50:52 AM): lol
April (3:50:58 AM): from the bottom?
Steph (3:51:01 AM): nope
Steph (3:51:03 AM): the top
Steph (3:51:13 AM): under where it said Ultimate Pack Rat
April (3:51:15 AM): 85%
Steph (3:51:20 AM): HaHA!
Steph (3:51:22 AM): I beat ya
Steph (3:51:25 AM): ...by 5%
Steph (3:51:26 AM): lol
April (3:51:34 AM): remember something...the atari still works
Steph (3:51:40 AM): yah, I know
Steph (3:51:59 AM): but if it didn't, I would still freak if you tried to get rid of it
April (3:52:20 AM): now why would i do that?
Steph (3:52:23 AM): lol
April (3:52:31 AM): i still have all the old broken vcr's
Steph (3:52:43 AM): "Collected cat hair... yanno, to make a pillow"
Steph (3:52:50 AM): I loved that question
April (3:52:59 AM): i actually was gonna do that
Steph (3:53:03 AM): I know!
Steph (3:53:04 AM): lol
April (3:53:08 AM): and go into business making dog toys
Steph (3:53:20 AM): We're insane, aren't we?
April (3:53:26 AM): yup
Steph (3:53:38 AM): No wonder there's so much CRAP laying around here
April (3:53:51 AM): lol
April (3:54:02 AM): it runs in the family
Steph (3:54:04 AM): yesh
Steph (3:54:19 AM): Pack rat-ness is genetic, mayhaps
April (3:54:30 AM): aunt inez and her civil war artifacts
Steph (3:54:35 AM): hehe
April (3:54:43 AM): and buckets of arrowheads
Steph (3:55:00 AM): and your grandmother and her newspapers
April (3:55:02 AM): my grandmother and the 'newspaper room'
April (3:55:06 AM): lol
Steph (3:55:17 AM): Grandpa's junkroom
April (3:55:22 AM): lol
Steph (3:55:27 AM): and... OUR WHOLE APARTMENT
April (3:55:32 AM): lol
Steph (3:55:33 AM): we don't have just one room
Steph (3:55:37 AM): we have ALL of them
April (3:55:55 AM): and the basement...it might be starting to get out of hand down there too
Steph (3:56:04 AM): Eep?
Steph (3:56:25 AM): At least it's organized and neat-ish down there
April (3:56:31 AM): yeah
Steph (3:56:35 AM): That's storage
Steph (3:56:39 AM): not pack-ratting
April (3:56:44 AM): we need to get rid of the encyclopedias
Steph (3:56:49 AM): I think there might be a difference
Steph (3:57:04 AM): Yeah, wikipedia > Britannica
April (3:57:33 AM): that was such a waste of money
Steph (3:57:42 AM): yeah >.>;
April (3:57:54 AM): but there was no internet when we bought it
Steph (3:57:58 AM): true
Steph (3:58:08 AM): then again, I don't think we ever used it much anyhow
Steph (3:58:09 AM): OH!
Steph (3:58:16 AM): the kids version was cool, though
April (3:58:23 AM): we will keep that
Steph (3:58:26 AM): yesh
April (3:58:27 AM): forever
Steph (3:58:35 AM): those were my story books as a kid, lol
April (3:58:41 AM): i know
Steph (3:58:52 AM): wow... no wonder I'm not a moron
Steph (3:59:05 AM): encyclopedia = bedtime stories!
Steph (3:59:05 AM): lol
April (3:59:16 AM): do people think of us as weird when you tell them "my mom read me encyclopedias as bed time stories"?
Steph (3:59:35 AM): No one knows about that, lol
April (3:59:42 AM): yes they do
April (3:59:49 AM): i have told some people
Steph (3:59:53 AM): no one I have told
Steph (4:00:00 AM): Though, I wanna tell Tom
April (4:00:05 AM): lol
Steph (4:00:05 AM): he'll appreciate it
Steph (4:00:09 AM): and might think it's hot
Steph (4:00:11 AM): ^_^;
April (4:00:16 AM): lol
April (4:12:07 AM): speaking of packratting...
Steph (4:12:12 AM): hmm?
April (4:12:23 AM): i saved the packratting convo
Steph (4:12:28 AM): lol
April (4:12:32 AM): we are digital packrats as well
Steph (4:12:36 AM): YESH!
Steph (4:12:41 AM): verily

Happy Internet Anniversary to Me

2006-11-17T01:00:00.000-05:00

November 17, 1999...

7 years ago today was my first day online.

In honor of that life changing event, here is a video documentary about the history of the ARPANET and the birth of the internet.

Enjoy!
-----

Steven King, MIT, 1972
Time: 30 min 22 sec

Thanks for the anniversary gift, Gothi[c].

For Steve

2006-11-06T14:51:00.000-05:00

Dear Steve,

My big brother, my friend, and one of my favorite people in all the world...

Had you lived, today would have been your 44th birthday.

I always looked up to you...always wanted to be just like you. You set a hard example to follow though, and I am still trying to catch up with you. I am not sure if I ever will, but I'll keep trying.

I want to give you a birthday gift...something you would appreciate.

I am still not sure exactly what it will be yet, but I am going to dedicate my next project to you. I will try to think of something you would have enjoyed.

Happy birthday, Steve.

Love from your little sis.
April

A change of plans...

2006-11-05T14:28:00.000-05:00

Ok...decided to make a new ToDo list. On it will be everything important to remember to do each day. It will look something like this:

This is what I think mine used to look like. Everything else was just filler in between. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of the importance of this list...forgot what was on it. Forgot to do it.

Weekly musical listening habits analysis

2006-10-29T14:55:00.000-05:00

Taking my top 10 artists for last week (as reported by last.fm)
Adding up the total number of listeners (as reported by same site)
Taking the average and dividing by the number of listeners of the top artist of the week (as reported by same site)

1 Fleetwood Mac - 97,039
2 Evanescence - 210,037
3 Cat Power - 132,224
4 Sarah McLachlan - 115,790
5 bjorn lynne - 630
6 Tapping the Vein - 2,615
7 Aerosmith - 187,337
7 Michelle Branch - 74,756
9 Anna Nalick - 26,085
10 Avril Lavigne - 152,351

Average: 99,886.4
Top artist: Red Hot Chili Peppers - 399,815
Average / RHCP: .249831547090529

Which makes my listening habits for last week 25% mainstream (rounded).

40 Songs, 38 Questions

2006-10-27T13:48:00.000-04:00

Put your music player on shuffle.
Post the first 40 songs that come up. You can repeat artists if you want. If you have any repeats, skip to the next track.

1. Moby - We Are All Made Of Stars
2. Aerosmith - Crazy
3. Snake River Conspiracy - Lovesong
4. Evanescence - Understanding
5. Sarah McLachlan - Answer
6. Led Zeppelin - When The Levee Breaks
7. Dot Allison - We're Only Science
8. Tracy Scott Silverman - 1983 (A Merman I Should Turn to Be)
9. Audioslave - Getaway Car
10. Sarah McLachlan - Perfect Girl
11. A Perfect Circle - Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums
12. The Swank Band - Blurry (Puddle of Mudd cover)
13. Evanescence - Give Unto Me
14. Silverchair - Black Tangled Heart
15. Natalie Imbruglia - Smoke
16. Stabbing Westward - The Only Thing
17. Snake River Conspiracy - How Soon Is Now
18. Shadow Gallery - Hope for Us
19. Stevie Nicks - Landslide (Unplugged)
20. Audioslave - Shadow On The Sun
21. Blue Oyster Cult - Godzilla
22. Evanescence - Ascencion of the Spirit
23. Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love
24. Harry Chapin - Cats in the Cradle
25. Sneaker Pimps - Firestarter (Prodigy Cover)
26. Evanescence - Silver Rain Fell
27. Michelle Branch - I'll Always Be Right There
28. Aerosmith - Angel
29. Linkin Park - Krwlng
30. Vast - Pretty When You Cry
31. Led Zeppelin - What Is And What Should Never Be
32. Enigma - Push The Limits
33. Evanescence - Eternal
34. A Perfect Circle - Imagine
35. Fleetwood Mac - Black Magic Woman
36. Evanescence - Exodus
37. Sarah McLachlan - Sweet Surrender
38. Nine Inch Nails & Static X - Closer (Trance Remix)
39. Dave Navarro - Rexall
40. Led Zeppelin - Stairway To Heaven

01. Which song do you prefer, No. 1 or No. 40?

No. 40, it's an old classic favorite I'll never grow tired of.

02. Have you ever listened to No. 12 continuously on repeat?

Yes...it's a great instrumental cover...really grows on ya.

03. What album is No. 26 from?

Origin

04. What do you think about the artist who did No. 15?

I like her stuff a lot when I am in the mood to hear female vocalists.

05. Is No. 19 one of your favorite songs?

I wouldn't call it one of my favorites, but I do like it a lot.

06. Who does No. 38 remind you of?

My daughter. She was the one that got me listening to NIN...and she LOVES Static X. Reminds me of the guy that Kiz & I were giving dance lessons to, in a chatroom, so he wouldn't look like a fool at his prom. Also reminds me of Martin...not going to explain why. :-P

07. Does No. 20 have better lyrics or music?

Lyrics. I like the song a lot because of the lyrics and especially the vocals. It has so much raw emotion.

08. Do any of your friends like No. 3?

Yes, but only because I made them listen to it.

09. Is No. 33 from a movie soundtrack?

I don't think so. I am pretty sure it isn't.

10. Is No. 18 overplayed on the radio?

I have never come across a radio station that plays anything by Shadow Gallery. (I am not counting internet radio like DeliciousAgony.com).

11. What does No. 21 remind you of?

It reminds me of my daughter and her idea to totally decorate her ex-boyfriend's livingroom in a Tokyo theme, complete with Godzilla movie posters and a foam model of Tokyo in the corner for her to pretend she is Godzilla and stomp on it when she is angry or frustrated with something....most likely him. Gee, I am glad she finally dumped him.

12. Which song do you prefer, No. 5 or No. 22?

No. 5 because of the lyrics. It's one of those sweet songs with heart.

13. What album is No. 17 from?

Sonic Jihad...and it's a Smiths cover.

14. When did you first hear No. 39?

About 2 years ago. My daughter was playing it.

15. When did you first hear No. 7?

About a year ago. Another one from my daughter.

16. What genre is No. 8?

It's kind of a new age smooth jazz instrumental thing. I was never really crazy about Jimi Hendrix, until I heard that tune. His stuff is much better when someone covers it....I am not sure why. maybe it was his voice, or just his style.

17. Do any of your friends like No. 14?

I have never heard anybody mention it before.

18. What color does No. 4 remind you of?

A dark maroon?

19. Have you ever blasted No. 11 on your stereo?

YES! YES! YES!...on repeat too. (Wake up, you sheep! The world is turning into a scary place because you sleep.)

20. What genre is No. 37?

Female vocalist alternative pop stuff.

21. Can you play No. 13 on any instrument?

Does a kazoo count as a musical instrument? If not, then no...because I can't play an instrument.

22. What is your favorite lyric from No. 30?

If you knew how much I love you, you would run away.

23. What is your favorite lyric from No. 23?

Way down inside, woman,
You need love.

24. Would you recommend No. 24 to your friends?

It's a classic I think everyone already knows. But if I hear them playing a cover I will mention the original, in a comparison.

25. Is No. 2 a good song to dance to?

Maybe a slow dance.

26. Do you ever hear No. 16 on the radio?

Never.

27. Is No. 32 more of a "nighttime" or "daytime" song?

I think that depends what you do during the day or night. If you need a song to get the energy flowing, this would be one of those. I guess if you were doing some sort of physical labor like cleaning your house during the day it would be daytime music...but I can think of some things you could do at night this song's beat would be great for. :-P

28. Does No. 36 have any special meaning to you?

Yes, it does. Reminds me of some of the rough times I went through as a teen. It almost seems like the songwriter was inside my mind at the time and wrote it about the crap I went through.

29. Do any of your friends like No. 31?

Yeah...it's a well loved classic.

30. Is No. 25 a fast or slow song?

Slow....and that's what makes this a cover good. It's slow, hot, & sexy.

31. Is No. 35 a happy or sad song?

Neither.

32. What is one of your favorite lyrics from No. 9?

The first time I saw you, you were chasin down a cyclone, all alone in the field with railyards and clovers. I kept rollin on. Never thought you'd wind up chasin me.

33. Is No. 34 better to listen to alone or with friends?

It's one of those songs people like to sing along to and everyone knows the lyrics to. So it is good with either friends or alone.

34. When did you first hear No. 27?

About a year & a half ago. I love this song. It expresses my feelings for my close friends...the ones I would do anything for...the ones that are like family to me, in my heart.

35. Name 3 other songs by the artist who did No. 29:

1. My December
2. One Step Closer
3. In the End

36. Do you know all the words to No. 6?

No.

37. Does No. 28 have better lyrics or music?

Music...especially if you consider the human voice a musical instrument. Most of the time it doesn't matter what Steve Tyler is saying. What matters is the way he says it...full of emotion. You don't hear the music, you feel it...and his voice has everything to do with that.

38. What album is No. 10 from?

Afterglow

I have Joined the 21st Century!

2006-09-10T07:39:00.000-04:00

That's right...I am finally living like a normal person...sort of.

I acquired a nice fast PC back in December 2005...taking the place of my old P1 as my main PC.

Now I have added to that...DSL!

OMG...I HAVE DIVIDED BY ZERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

OK, it's s-l-o-w DSL, but it's a hell of a lot faster than dialup and the fighting in my house over the PC with the dialup connection has ended. Now both my daughter & I can be online at the same time...and talk on the phone too. Not that I like phones any more than I did on Thursday, because I still hate phones of any type.

Which means I am taking my phone off the hook during the day so the people that would call me most can't get through and still have to leave me a 60 second voicemail.

So what did I do with my new DSL so far?

I went to neopets.com, one of the slowest sites I ever used, and loaded flash game after flash game...not to play them, just to watch them load. It was fun to see that progress meter just zip and the game to be loaded. A second or 2 is tons faster than the 10+ minutes it used to take.

I am hosting my own chatroom now...with WinMX...on primary!! YAY!!!

Port forwarding...I was feeling like a total n00b idiot on that subject...was getting very frustrated. If this happened to you, you might be frustrated too:

If you click NO, it does dynamic...if you click YES, it does nothing at all!

Seems like a candidate for The Daily WTF to me.

But I am loving DSL...really loving it!

But I have to go clean my house now, before it dies from neglect...then I can come back and abuse my DSL some more...maybe download some HUGE files today. :-)

Forgiving the Unforgivable

2006-07-09T19:31:00.000-04:00

Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harms we do, we do to ourselves.

- Mitch Albom, "The Five People You Meet in Heaven"

I am still trying to learn forgiveness, for my own sake..not the sake of those I seek to forgive. They don't know and they don't care about it. They think they have done no wrong.

It's very easy to forgive someone when they know they have done something wrong, admitted it and have asked for forgiveness.

It's the ones that think they are perfect and do no wrong, or think you somehow deserved what they did to you...those are the hard ones to forgive.

But for my own sake, those are the ones I need to forgive the most. I don't have to tell them they are forgiven...just do it. Then I can put it in the past & move on.

I think it's easier if you know why they did what they did. But when they are not willing to admit they did anything, the real reason is hard to get to.

When a guy tells you he is sorry for all the crap he did while drinking and asks you to forgive him, and tells you he gave up drinking because he realized what it was doing to him and the people he loves, it's easy to understand the whys behind his actions. He had a drinking problem. Now you can forgive, easily.

But when someone won't even admit something happened, or that it wasn't them, or that you somehow deserved it, or that it was your own fault...then what?

Does it help to tell yourself the reason they did what they did is because there is something wrong with their mind? That they are ill? That it's also part of their sickness that they are denying it the way they do?

Maybe. It's what I try to tell myself when I feel myself dwelling on the past and hurting from it. It doesn't lessen the hurt, but it makes it a bit easier to forgive at that moment. It kind of replaces the anger with pity.

But I can't forgive once & for all and move on. It's very hard. So I am taking it in the moment it occurs. Forgive...and forgive again...and again...and again...each time it comes to my conscious mind and holds me back.

It's all I can do...for myself...not them.

What's in a name?

2006-06-25T02:19:00.000-04:00

A lot more than you think!

After reading an article on Lifehacker, I decided to do a Google search for my full name. There seems to be many that share this name with me, tons of results, and not all of them good.

Then one result stood out from the rest. It was what seemed to be a copy of my brother's obituary.

I was curious, so I clicked the link.

What I found was a blog post made by a friend of his that had lost touch with him over the years and had just learned of his death, recently.

I was touched by his post. I was touched by my father's words. I felt as if I had been given back a part of something precious that was taken from me long ago.

I lost my brother long before he died. Unfortunate circumstances and not exactly being accepted by my mother as part of the family, made me a stranger to him. I didn't know where he lived, I didn't have a phone number, nor was my mother ever going to share that with me or share my contact info with him.

My brother was one of my favorite people in all this world. He always was. He had a profound effect on my life in many ways. I looked up to him. I wanted to be just like him.

I wish my daughter could have met him. I wish I had more to give her of him than just my memories. I wish they could have gotten to know each other. I know she would have loved her Uncle Steve as much as I did.

I don't have much to remind me of him. A bracelet he made for me when I was 9 years old, a goofy plastic Dracula ear ring I found in his desk drawer when I went to Florida for his funeral, a few very old pictures from when I was about 3 years old, a small clay pot I made in school for him when I was 14....and his ashes (but that's not how I want to remember him)

Finding this blog post was almost like finding him...or at least a part of what he was. The author of the post doesn't know how much of a gift that was...yet. As soon as I can pull myself together enough and think about what I want to say, I am going to email him and let him know how much I appreciated his words.

Dreams can and do come true

2006-04-20T06:15:00.001-04:00

I officially became a 'professional' programmer! A professional gets paid for what they do...doesn't matter if they know what they are doing, or if they can do it well, or how much they get paid...they are still technically a professional if they get paid for it.

Over on donationcoder.com there is a coding snacks forum where people submit requests for small utility applications that would take an hour or less to create. I spotted one that would be a quick request to fill...all I would have to do is add a few lines of code to an existing application I had already written. It was for a stopwatch that would either stay always on top, or min to tray, that could be controlled with a global hotkey. I had already made one that stayed on top and could be minimized to the tray...just needed to add the hotkey to it and the request would be filled.

I didn't do it for money...didn't expect to get any either. But when I announced that the request was filled and posted a download link, about 5 minutes later I got an email from mouser, the guy that runs the site. He put $0.50 in my micropayments account in appreciation of my work! The next day, someone else I don't even know added another $0.10!

I know this isn't much...and most people would laugh at an amount so small, but it meant a lot to me. Another $0.40 and I will have made my first dollar as a programmer. And this wasn't because people HAD to pay me...it was because they WANTED to. I think that makes it even more special to me.

I will frame that first $1 when I get it and treasure it forever...it means that much to me. It's a personal goal accomplished...a dream fulfilled.

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Follow up: April 27, 2006:

I recieved another 100 credits today, so now I have gone past the $1 mark :-D

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Follow up: Friday, June 2, 2006:

When I originally made this post, and the previous follow up, I thought the scale for donation credits was same as US currency and that 100 credits was $1...turns out I was very wong. 10 credits = $1...so it wasn't $0.50 that mouser gave me, but $5.00! And that $0.10 I thought I got the next day was really $1...and the additional 100 credits was $10! WOW!

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Follow up: Saturday, September 9, 2006:

I have recieved my first dollar, signed by mouser. It is now in a frame, hanging above my desk. :-D