Thursday, June 28, 2007

It's a Big Ass Table presents a twisted take on one of Microsoft's latest and greatest announcements.


Saturday, June 23, 2007

The secret to a clean house may be in my tea mug

My tea mug
If I have five to six cups of tea every day, and it takes four minutes in the microwave to heat the water in my cup, and if I spend that time while it's heating cleaning my house, then I will be spending twenty to twenty-four minutes cleaning, every day.

How much can I accomplish in that amount of time?

I am about to find out.

I figure working for my tea isn't a bad idea and I'll be accomplishing more housework than I normally would be doing.

Four minutes here & there isn't much.

Not enough time to procrastinate about it.

Not enough time to think up reasons why I shouldn't do it.

Not enough time to make excuses.

Not enough time to miss out on doing something else I'd rather be doing at that moment.

Not enough time for me to get obsessive about it.

Yes, this is the real reason why I hate cleaning. When I clean, the picky perfectionist in me comes out and takes over and everything has to be perfectly organized and sterile. I spend way more time on each thing than I should. I can't control it or stop it once it starts.

This is a source of anxiety I'd rather not go through, so I avoid the activity altogether. This is also why the mess bothers me so much. I see it, think about fixing it, think about how long it will take (because I will end up obsessing over it), and that causes anxiety too. I fear losing control...and I run from the task. It's a kind of damned if I do, damned if I don't feeling. I can't find a happy medium where things are normal. You probably can't even begin to understand how much this bothers me and stresses me out.

But it's only four minutes.

I think I can handle that. How much trouble can I get in, in four minutes?

Friday, June 22, 2007

Web Server in Your Pocket

IPAQ 5500Imagine a web server that can fit in your pocket.

You don't have to be a super mega-geek Linux-loving hardware hacker to do it.

All you need is a Pocket PC running at least Pocket PC 2003 with an internet connection.

Now I haven't tried it out, so I can't supply any instructions, and I am not sure why you would want to run a web server on a Pocket PC other than for the reason "Because I can". Or maybe you might be on a plane and want to do some web development. Maybe you can use the GPS in your device to publish a simple page giving your current location for your friends and family.

Either way, it's kind of insane but sounds like it could be fun.

Bad news for you: You can't do it for free. It will cost you about $78 for all the software and at least $25 - $50 for a year of dynamic DNS service. (depending on if your ISP blocks port 80)

Bad news for me: I am going to miss out on all the fun because my Pocket PC is too old and runs WinCE 3.0 Pocket PC 2000...and I am too broke to afford the expense even if my device was supported.

But if you decide to try it out, I'd love to hear about it. Drop me an email and maybe give me a link to your portable website. (don't worry...I won't share your link or your email address, and I won't spam you.) I'd love to snag some screenshots of your mobile site for a possible update in the future.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

A Day in the Life of a Telemarketer

A new level of crazy.

A telemarketer calls an elderly woman who claims she is on the do not call list. She goes off on him, swearing and making threats.

She seems like someone that actually hates phones more than I do.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Chinese Chicken Sculptures

Chinese Chicken SculptureI had this really weird dream...

I dreamed I was in Tampa, at a Chinese restaurant. I was supposed to be ordering food for my mother, which would be delivered later on, then I was supposed to go to my aunt's house a few blocks away.

Something went wrong and it got weird...

The lady in the restaurant told me that the last time my mother called for food and had it delivered, somebody stiffed them for $2.50. So she wanted me to pay for it, and for my mother's current order, and to tell her that from now on she has to come and pick up the food herself.

I look in my wallet and all I have is $25...which my mother gave me for something else...and I wasn't supposed to spend it. I handed the lady $5, hoping that later when I saw my mother that she wasn't going to have a fit about it.

While they were cooking my mother's food, the Chinese lady gave me some sort of drink for free...something that tasted weird and not so good.

There was this guy that worked there that was bored and had nothing to do. Everybody else was busy running around cooking things except him. My daughter starts flirting with him. He tells her that he wants to cook something and not just sit around being bored...asks her if she wants something to eat....for free. Then as she is looking at the menu and making suggestions for some common things, he gets a bit upset and takes the menu away from her. He doesn't want to make something common, he wants to make something special! (he was trying to impress her)

So he's looking at the menu trying to find something, then tosses it and grabs some Chinese cookbook and starts flipping pages. Then he gets a big smile and very excited and runs to the back with the book.

The Chinese lady tells my daughter, in Engrish, that she is really going to like what he's making, because she can see what he's doing in the back and we can't.

Then she asks me why I am not finishing my drink. I am honest with her about not liking it too much. She suggests that maybe I need prune juice in it...then comments how Hollow doesn't need any prune juice, because 'he go everyday, no problem'. (omg! It turns out that Hollow is living with the people in the Chinese restaurant in Tampa!)

Then the guy that is making food for my daughter comes to the front with a giant artistic chicken sculpture dipped in wax, sticking up out of something that looks like a fancy metal baby buggy with all kinds of Asian designs all over it, and he pushes it along this track that leads to an oven. It was a genuine work of art. Then he explains to my daughter that it has to go in the oven so the wax can be burned off, leaving just the chicken.

Then my mother shows up and wants to know why we were still at the Chinese restaurant and not at my aunt's house yet.

I explain the food problem to her and she swears the delivery guy is a liar. She sent someone downstairs with the money, and he would never pocket the money for himself. She gets mad at me for telling her all of this. I told her I had to pay for the food. She hands me $2.50, with an attitude. When I told her I had to pay $5 because I also had to pay what they got stiffed, she gets really nasty, but finally gives me another $2.50.

Then she hands me some really cheap cigarettes and I comment that I don't smoke those, that I prefer Djarums. She asks who the hell got me into those. I told her that I thought it was her that did. She says in a very nasty tone of voice that it couldn't have been, because she wouldn't ever buy something expensive like that for me.

Then I thought about it really was Plastic! He was the one that got me into them. (not in real life though, that was Cailin's fault)


...and then I woke up.


So...I dreamed about my daughter flirting with a Chinese guy, 2 online friends (one that really lives in Tampa), my mother being a bitch, and a work of edible art that's worthy of photographing. It's all not so weird and really quite normal, when you think about it.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

We are not the enemy

On May 15, 2007, the Air National Guard decided to bomb NJ, even though it's still officially part of the US. This is not the first time that they have 'attacked' and put residents and their property at risk. Sure, New Jerseans are known for being cranky, arrogant, and hating Republicans, but is that any reason to attack us?

There has been at least 5 major incidents in recent years, including one in November 2004, in which they opened fire on Little Egg Harbor Township's middle school during a night-time training exercise. Had that accident taken place during the day, it could have proven to be much more disastrous than it was.

On May 15, a flare dropped from an F-16 during a training session over a section of the Pine Barrens in Ocean County, about 25 miles north of Atlantic City resulted in an extensive forest fire that burned over 17,000 acres (69 km²) containing rare pygmy Pitch Pines, and forcing evacuation for more then 6,000 area residents.

Some residents used garden hoses to protect their property as the fire approached.

Along the nearby Garden State Parkway, northbound and southbound ramps on Exit 63, as well as the southbound ramp for Exit 67, had to be closed.

Three trailer homes at Pinewood Estates in Barnegat and four at Brighton at Barnegat were destroyed.

About 50 homes sustained some damage at Brighton at Barnaget, including some that had smoke damage.

Three nursing homes had to be evacuated.

An elderly woman suffering from dementia, only knowing her name, disappeared during evacuation and was missing for 2 days.

The following are videos of the fire, made by local residents (some may contain accidental profanity):

Man drives through forest fire:

Slide Show:

Another video (creator has disabled embedding):

Photo gallery of New Jersey Forest Fire Service - Section B-10:

Gov. Corzine has called for an end to the training sessions and/or a relocation of the Warren Grove base, to an area where the threat to the public's safety will be minimized.

Although Gov. Corzine does not have jurisdiction over the fate of the federal military facility, he has not ruled out legal remedies that he can pursue and he is presently in contact with his lawyers about the matter.

Yes, our nation is at war and the military needs to practice, but aren't there better places to do this than over our nation's first nature reserve, in the most densely populated state in the country?

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Proof that Mac users are stupid

Apple's support pages actually have the following instructions:

OMG! I still don't know how to pick up and carry my Mac!How to pick up and carry your iMac G5

Don't know how to pick up and carry your iMac G5? It's easy.
Before moving your computer, make sure all cables and cords are disconnected.

Pick up the iMac G5 by grasping both sides of the computer. Carry it to wherever you wish.

Thanks for the link, freon!